Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Made a very long killing spree.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Totaled 30 cars.
Survived Friday.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Wore all three outfits.
Survived Wednesday.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Survived Tuesday.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Survived Monday.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Gained your first dog helper.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Sucked down your own piss.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Kicked open a door.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old friend.