Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Made a very long killing spree.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Read the newspaper every day.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Survived Friday.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Totaled 30 cars.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Survived Thursday.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Sucked down your own piss.
Survived Wednesday.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Wore all three outfits.
Survived Tuesday.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Kicked open a door.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Gained your first dog helper.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old flame.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Reunited with an old friend.