Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Made a very long killing spree.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Kicked 30 dogs.
Totaled 30 cars.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Survived Friday.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Gained your first dog helper.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Survived Wednesday.
Wore all three outfits.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Survived Tuesday.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Sucked down your own piss.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Survived Monday.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Kicked open a door.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Rescued your loyal companion.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old flame.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old friend.