Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Sucked down your own piss.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Made a very long killing spree.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Survived Friday.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Wore all three outfits.
Totaled 30 cars.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Survived Wednesday.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Survived Tuesday.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Gained your first dog helper.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Kicked open a door.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old friend.